My Weaknesses
I took a personality test I saw in my facebook feed (you can take it HERE). I started reading my results (ENFJ) and kept thinking about how they relate to nursing. My career description didn’t say anything about nursing, or health care, or anything like that! It told me I’d be a good manager! I don’t want to be a manager! So I went back through my results, searching for pieces that would help me as a nurse. What stood out for me wasn’t the positive characteristics, it was the negative. The hurdles I’ll face to become the nurse I want to me, and it all reminded me of something I want to share with you.
During my first semester of clinicals, I wasn’t doing very well. I was struggling badly. I didn’t know how to get along with my instructor, every day was a battle, I drove home every Tuesday and Wednesday crying in my car, and I was really overwhelmed. Why can’t I just get it right the first time? Why does my instructor hate me? Why are the doctors not listening to my patients! This isn’t fair!!
A few weeks into clinicals, I walked into our little clinical break room and started complaining about whoever I thought was DOING IT WRONG that day. One of my classmates turned to me and said, “You are SO NEGATIVE! You talk about all these health care workers and never have anything nice to say! They are trying their best and all you do is complain about them!” Honestly -- my first instinct was to go off and start attacking! But for whatever reason, a little voice inside me told me I had to listen. So I did. And it felt horrible because she was right! I just started crying. I could not believe I had turned into "that" person, but those tears felt like a flush of all that toxicity; an opportunity to reset myself.
My personality test told me that I was too sensitive- while I can be receptive to criticism, I take it to heart and let it consume me. My self-esteem fluctuates A LOT, so if I fail to reach a goal, I will start beating myself up immediately! I struggle to make decisions – when between a rock and a hard place, I can freeze up and not make a decision at all! And to top it all off, I tend to take on others’ problems as my own and can get very passionate about something that has nothing to do with me. All weaknesses of mine that have affected me within months of starting nursing school!
The struggle of balancing nursing school and kids and a husband and family and not getting along with my instructor were just too much. I allowed all that stress and FEAR and vulnerability come out onto others. I made a decision at that moment to try to always do what is right. It sounds easy, and it is easy to proclaim such an honorable notion, but it is hard. It’s been intimidating, scary, and I’ve missed so many opportunities to stand up or speak out. As a nurse, I know I’ll have to stay on the side of what’s right, and be able to swallow my pride when I find myself teetering over the edge. But without transformation, how can we become our best selves??
Take the test HERE! What’s your personality type? What are the strengths you'll bring to nursing? What are some weaknesses that may affect you in nursing, and how can you become more aware of them in your daily life?
